Thursday, 31 January 2013


When I started this round I had a total disbelief that I could actually achieve my goal of losing 20kgs for the round, but guess what - I DID!!!

I MADE MY GOAL WEIGHT FOR THE ROUND TODAY!!!! WOO HOOOOOOO!!!!! I celebrated with a PT session and a 5km run! No more junk food celebrations for me... 20kgs lost for the round!

I am so happy right now - plus I just tried on my goal pants... TOO BIG!!! HAHAHA!

Now it's a race to see if I can reach my outside goal (of getting to 70kgs)

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

What is happening to me?!?

Well, it's down to the wire now... 1 week and one day to go... what could possibly happen to stop me now?!?... Come on, this is me we're talking about, we all know something has to happen... but I'll get to that in a minute...

Today the kids went back to school!  Hooray, not just for the serenity factor but it was like my coming out party too... The thinner me anyway, and I couldn't have planned it better if I tried...

When we arrived I had lots of compliments (yay) and I even had one mum come up to me and say - I saw your facebook post and I wanted to let you know that I have joined up too - She said she was telling me because she was doing the say it out loud task and she knew I would understand - and I totally did.  I was so excited for her...  If she can have the same turn around I have had she is going to be the happiest woman in 12 weeks time!

PLUS - on the way out my ex- best friend (who I use as motivation to prove how good my life is with out her) drove past me in the car park and did a double take! IT WAS AWESOME!  My hubby was with me and he was cracking up laughing at her reaction, apart from the fact that she swerved out and nearly ran him over -  but that feeling -, ahhhh - it was worth every bit of pain, sweat and tears - and totally felt as good as I thought it would... God, does that make me shallow... pftt don't care - I so earned that feeling!

 So really, after a start to a day like that what could possibly happen to de-reail the stopping all stations Haze-train??

Well, let me tell you!  So, in case you haven't read my earlier posts, you may not be aware of the fact that I have PCOS, and out of all the bad things about it, there is an upside for me, I NEVER EVER get my period... EVER.  When I did my IVF treatments I had to take drugs to get one, and I wasn't overly impressed by the whole affair either...

Anyway, about a 2 or so weeks ago I got really crampy, and I got tender breasts... and I rushed out and bought a pregnancy test, miracles happen right?  Nope, it was a single line only... no miracles for me this month...  So this crampy thing has been going on for the past 2 weeks and I wasn't sure what to make of it... I assumed it was just something to do with the weight loss and my body readjusting... Then I craved chocolate, after 16 weeks I saved up one of my snacks and had a chocolate last night - and it was GOOD...

OK so I know the signs are all there and they are all really obvious, but delirious me continued on in my own little world... Until... I was doing a zombie run this afternoon - and let me tell you I was KILLING it!!  I did 5 x 5min free form runs (with no stopping with 3 min walks in between) Totally zombie proud brag moment... I was on my last run when I got a terrible shooting pain under one of my ribs... I assumed it was a stitch, I never get stitches, W.T.F man...

But I got home to find out that it was TTOTM (for me M stands for millennia) It explains sooo much - like yesterday I had a meltdown moment when I got on the scales and saw that I had put on 200gms! and I haven't cheated on diet or exercise...  Plus I got all teary during my Zombie run the other day - I was  bawling my eyes out while I was running because one of the people who tell the story had a loved one die... And today when I was running off that 200gms I started to get all teary when I realised I had nearly lost 20 kgs and I was so close to my goal...

So now I can explain the gain I dont feel so bad, I was dreading having to tell you all about it... But I am hoping after the accelerator day, and the run I did today I will be at least even or even a bit under last weeks weigh in...

I'll let you all know tomorrow!

Friday, 25 January 2013

A week of highs, lows and everything in between

I'm not sure where to begin...I have had a week of high highs, and low lows, and one silly incident that could only happen to me...  I guess I will start with the bad first...

I was made to feel bad by some people I considered friends, without going into details let's just say I was down for a few days before I decided to 'Take back the power' (well that's what Dr Phil would say)  I was giving in to other peoples perceptions and starting to believe them - well, that had to stop!  I felt a downward spiral approaching, you know the one, the self loathing that's followed by bad eating and pity parties in front of the TV?!?!

So I sucked it up, got back on top of things and kept to my diet and exercise routine and things started to come good...until my husband and I made the decision that  has been coming for a while... we will have to sell our farm :(

It's only a relatively small hobby farm (14 acres) but we've been here for 8 years and in that time we have planted a full orchard, and just put in our own olive trees to make our own olive oil.  So by the time everything comes good we will no longer be here...  But it's the little things that have me down again, like the boys height marks on the wall that we have made every month.  It's the kids hand prints in the concrete slab of the shed, the 2 oak trees growing in the front garden that I gave Matt for our wedding present, and (here's the killer) the Mulberry tree my Mum bought me to plant in our chook pen just before she died... (blerk I still dont want to think about it)

But the work has become too much for Matt, as he already works a lot (and is away for work a lot) and when he has a weekend or holidays he is stuck with all the handy man jobs that I can't do... plus with me going back to full time Uni soon and then working, all the stuff I currently do wont get done either...  We have been left with no time for ourselves or each other so we made the hard decision to sell...

I dread the thought of moving back into suburbia... our current house is 7 bedrooms so there is the down sizing thing too... Plus we still have all the work we to do to get the house to a salable condition, which is going to take 6 months to complete, so we cant just up and move and get it over with...  <insert big sigh here>

So there's my lows... Now for my highs...

I finally did a Zombie run on the road, so I was able to track exactly how far I can go now - 8.7kms!!

Ok, so that's a jog/walk combo and it takes me 1:20hrs but still it's a far cry from the girl who had to hold her boobs in place to get 50 meters and then have a head ache for the next 2 days! 

I have done 2 zombie runs this week plus 2 PT sessions, softball training was cancelled and we have a bye this week.... so I haven't done much else, because (here comes the silly Hazism) I dislocated my shoulder doing star-jumps!!!

I know, I know, it could only happen to me right!?  But it's not as bad as it sounds... I was doing a round of 50 (x3) star jumps at bootcamp, when as I was raising my arms I heard it pop, but I was in the swing of things and when I bought my arm back down it popped again... I crunched and ached through the rest of the session but I just assumed I had wrenched it some how...  It wasn't until it became increasingly painful and I lost full motion of it that I realised when I had done...  so after a terrible sleepless night it is still aching but I have nearly the full range of movement back but now its just really, really sore!!

But hey, that's the bad and the ugly, now for the good news...

I got an email from MB saying that I was in the top 15% of Round 4'ers  with an 11.95% loss  - That's pretty cool hey!?  Although if we count warm-up and pre-season it's about a 20% loss which is way cooler!

Another bit of good news is that I am only about 1kg away from  my initial round 4 goal of losing 20kgs before the next round begins, admittedly I secretly wanted to get to 70kgs but 71.2 was my initial goal and I am so close - if I can get to 71.2 or below I will be very proud of myself - haters be damned!!! 

Which means as of last Wednesdays weigh in I have only got 7kgs to lose to get to my healthy weight range... I know it will take me a month or two to get there but I was really happy when I realised I was closer to being in the healthy weight range than I am to being in the obese category (which is where I was when I started)

So here's to us getting to our goals!

Friday, 18 January 2013

Rocking a size 12!

Yesterday sucked!  It's been a long time since I have felt the way I did.  I usually let drama and B.S. slide off me but yesterday was crappy!  I don't know how many times Evil Haze told me to 'Pick up that bag of chips and sit on the couch,' or If you drop out of the 12WBT it wont matter,'  and I don't know how many times I considered eating badly for the instant gratification...  Eventually I decided that if I were to cave like that I really would be letting the haters win...  And I'm all about the proving them wrong...

So after what seemed like a never-ending day filled with drama and discord I showered, got into my PJ's, picked up a book and read for 4 hours straight...  I sometimes like to escape into a fantasy world where the drama happens to others and I am but a mere spectator - no I didn't go for a run, no I didn't take it out on the treadmill but hey, it's better than eating crap!

I finally got to bed at about midnight and slept through till 7:30am - Ahhh!   A little bit of sleep and a good read left me all refreshed and ready to start a new day with a new, positive outlook.

Dad rang, he got his Dr's results and he has type 2 Diabetes...  He wants my help to lose weight and start eating healthy!  So I drove around to his place, we talked it through and we went and did his groceries together.  I was so proud of him!  Even though he is on the pension and cant afford to buy a lot I managed to talk him into buying light and low fat things and showed him how to work out calories etc.

After we finished our groceries I stopped off at Big W and Target to buy some cheap 'interim clothes'  I really dont have anything left that fits but as I want to lose more weight I needed some cheap clothes that would get me through the next month or two...

I looked through all the racks of clothes but didn't like much - until I realised I was in the 'big girls' section!!  I don't need to go to the 'Big' section anymore!!!  Woo Hoo so I grabbed a bung of size 14's and headed for the change rooms - THEY WERE TOO BIG!!  OMG I am a size 12!!!  I took a pic in the change room of me wearing a 'Stretch' size 14 top and size 12 pants!  Yes, I know the top is too clingy (at the moment) and I didn't buy it - But I did buy 4 pairs of size 12 pants!!! OH YEAH!!

And just for a change, I really enjoyed shopping, I had grown to hate it - and before now I predominately bought all of my clothes online... This is AWESOME - I went from a day of disaster yesterday, to a day of delirium today - Now when my friends want to go out for shopping and coffee - I CAN GO!

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Weigh in day week 9

So today I only had a 400gm loss :( - I think the issue is now that I am not eating enough... plus I am being a big old slacker in the water drinking department too...  It is on my list of things to do better at. (It's a bloody long list too)

On Monday (or day after embarrassing bee sting) I was fine and I got up to exercise to find my hubby on the bottom of the shower (yes in my spot too) but he was sick, really really sick... I turns out he is allergic to bee stings...  So I got him out of the shower and I was very worried about him, so all plans of training went out the window.  Plus he refused to accept it was an allergy or go to the hospital...

I ended up playing nursemaid all day - without the sexy outfit - and got nothing done.  Very disappointing and not at all going to cut it.  By the late afternoon he was out of bed and moaning on the lounge so I decided that he wasn't going to die and I took the kids and the puppy for a 6km walk into town and back, admittedly I bribed them with icy poles in town if they came with me but we all went for the walk and I managed to burn just over 200 Cals - so the day wasnt a complete waste!

Tuesday we walked around the city shopping and today I had softball practice (did I mention how much I am now loving softball?)  tomorrow is going to be 41!!!  So it's a pool party polooza with the both of the kids having friends over for the day... and Friday I WILL go for a Zombie run BEFORE my PT session if I can get all the kids down to the oval with me (I have 5 kids sleeping over Thursday night)  But I really need a big cal burn day and I need it NOW!!!

Did anyone else LOVE accelerator Tuesday??  OMG I ate sooo much and was so full it was amazing!!  We had snapper on the BBQ and blue swimmer crabs for dinner and it was AMAZING...  If only seafood wasn't so darn expensive - I spent $53 for seafood for 2 adults and 2 kids... But it was super fresh and super yummy... and I am not buying take out any more which would have probably been about the same so I shouldn't complain!

How was everyone elses weigh in this week?  3 weeks out from out goals.... YIKES  I really do need to up my game!!!

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Entry 57 - Jan 13 2013

I have got another embarrassing tale to tell you all, but I will leave it until a bit later to fill you in... I have other things that I need to get out of the way first...

I mentioned the other day that I am organising a local bootcamp to get everyone involved... Well it is now happening - every Friday and every Monday, which means I kind of have to attend... But I am replacing my one on one session with the PT for 2 bootcamps - financially it works out the same but I got far bigger DOM's with my one on one session... I will just play it by ear and if I think that the bootcamps aren't enough for me I will switch to a PT session instead...

Don't get me wrong, at the moment I get DOM's every second session and I still struggle to get through them but they are getting easier each time - even though the work outs are getting harder! Tomorrow I must go for a run first - I haven't done a run for about a week and a half (not including the 1km time trial) so I am feeling like my life as Runner 5 (zombie training speak) is being seriously neglected...

Speaking of DOMs... Yesterday was my 3rd game of softball, (797 cals burnt for the game) but I only got up to bat once (and struck out) the other team KILLED us, even our best players were struck out... but I played second base and ran around a lot then was sent into right field because they were all such big hitters... I was running around like a mad thing - and loving it!

I have been askedif I would like to be trained as a pitcher, something I never really thought about, but yesterday I got out there after the game and practised pitching - and today I can barely lift my right arm! OMG I didn't know how much a pitcher used their tricep muscles... I think I am going to have a big bulging right arm if I dont start working out the other one too!... Or as a friend said I will be a lopsided Popeye!

Well today, once again, I am entirely grateful for my day off, especially due to the fact that it rained a lot this morning, highly unusual for SA this time of year, but we are very glad for it that's for sure! Anyway once the rain cleared we decided that we really needed to go and tend to our bee hives - we are newbie bee-keepers so we are learning as we go too... (here comes the embarrassing story)

We noticed that one of our hives had stuck their frames to the base board with honey comb, this is something we needed to clean up...

So of we trekked all decked out, determined to not get stung again (this has been happening a bit lately, last one was on my cheek bone as it got under my veil). So I was prepared this time, I had long pants, long shirt, veil and long elbow length leather gloves - nothing was going to get me today!

We got the smoker fired up and everything was going smoothly - even though we had some seriously ticked off bees... you can tell when they are angry as their buzzing sounds different.

Anyway, we were doing really well and had scraped the base of the first frame clean when a felt a crawling up my leg - but I couldn't do anything I was holding a bee laden frame with thousands of bees all over it..

Me: 'Maaaattt, There is something crawling up my leg...'
Matt: 'You'll be right, it's probably just an ant, just keep going.'
Me: 'Seriously, the only ants down here are bull ants and I don't want them up my pants, I have to put this frame back in and get it out,'
Matt: 'Next time tuck your pants into your socks.'
Me: ''
Matt: 'Ok, just get the frame back into the hive and get it out'
Me: [rushing to get the frame back in whilst walking like a cowbow so I don't squash the ant into my crotch area] (which is where the thing had crawled to by this stage)
Matt: 'Pull down your pants!'
Me: 'Wow Babe, so romantic... OUCH!!!'
Matt: [trying desperately not to laugh] 'You ok, was it an ant?'

So you get the idea... I got stung on the rude bits by a bee! But then a few bees fell into Matt's glove and stung his wrist (that's what you get for not wearing the right gloves Mr Smarty Pants!) But then I got stung on the shin through my trackie pants, so we gave up - we will have to do it again next weekend... (I am totally wearing Jeans tucked into socks next time) At least the honey that we got was delicious, but totally not worth the price!

So, now the issue is that I have a sore (you know what)....which I am hoping it is better by tomorrow because at this stage I can't walk without it hurting let alone do a boot camp or a run!!

And on that incredibly embarrassing note I am off to cook dinner!

I hope you are all having a good rest day too!! Take care all and fill me in on what you are up to!

Entry 56 - Jan 2013

Mini Milestone fitness test and measure up done!!

Man did I find some excuses not do my 1km time trial till this morning - and I still found some, but none of them were going to stop me today.

I had done everything yesterday and had some good improvements - I knew they weren't going to be as good as my first mini milestone because I think if I lost that many cms again I would be see through... but I haven't yet gone over 1200 cals and I have been getting in some good exercise, although I still haven't done any additional MB workouts... I am going to do those next round, or once I get to my goal weight.

But I am still zombie running, not for a week though as it is too hot, so I have been swimming, softballing and bootcamping... all things I have grown comfortable with, in fact, if I tell you all the truth... I started the bootcamp, I convinced the PT to run them but I organised the times, date, attendees, and I have even designed posters to put up around town and I will be handing them out as flyers at the bootcamp so that people can recruit their friends and work mates...

I am ground zero and I have the get fit bug. Sorry folks, I am afraid it's contagious and it's spreading quickly! Plus I figure the more people attending the less likely I am to pike out, so it's purely selfish motivation!

On other BIG NEWS my oldest has finished his chemo! It's such a big relief, for him and me, although probably for him more - his specialist is on holidays and we will get the results on the 7th March. However we were told all early signs are positive and once the drug have all passed through his system we will know more for sure! YAY US!

Anyway to the stuff you all really want...(yeah right) Here are my results :

Total Loss: 64cms
Total Weight Loss: 17kgs
Wall Sit: 43 second improvement
Push-ups: 4 more from toes and 10 more from knees
Sit and reach: 3cms better
Time Trial - (6:11:7) 23 seconds better than last time (1min 23seconds better over all)



There were so many times that I wanted to stop (my heart rate was 198 when I finished) but what got me through was the thought of writing this exact message. I thought of what excuses I could give other than I just couldn't do it - and even though I knew you would all understand.

I just didn't want to let you all down, plus the kids were at home waiting to see if I made it - what sort of an example would I be to them and to you all if I just quit? I wanted to show them and you that if you really try hard you can and will achieve your goals!

How did everyone else go? Does anyone want to share their before and 'after/progress' pictures?

Entry 55 - Jan 2013

Today I would just like to shoot the breeze with you all, there are a few things that I have been tossing up whether or not to put in my blog - but I figure if I can put a nearly naked picture of my me at my fattest up here why can't I tell you the balls out, honest truth??

When I first signed up for this program, I did it without telling anyone, whilst sitting in my office one night - hey who is going to know if I fail if I don't tell anyone??

Then I cried, I must have cried for a good 30 minutes... At the time I thought I was crying because I was so down on myself for being a fatty and admitting defeat before I had even started...

But in hind sight I think I was grieving... I know it sounds weird but I truly think I was grieving for the loss of my lifestyle. It wasn't a healthy lifestyle but hey, it was mine and I owned it!. I was renowned for begin a great cook, and cooking the most delicious and decadent foods, plus no-one quite cooks a roast like me...

I think that I had surrounded myself with food and food past times (baking, cooking, cake-decorating etc) in order to excuse the fact that I had become so big. How can anyone be around that much food and not eat it, right?? I bet a lot of you are the same, or are renowned for a food related activity... like going out to eat a lot, or being the take away king or queen...

It wasn't until about the 1st week in I realised this, and at the same time I realised I could still have the same 'food-type' recognition but instead of doing the best roasts I would make the yummiest low calorie food, food so good that you wouldn't even know it's low calorie... I also realised I didn't have to go without all the foods I loved.

I can still have a yummy roast meal - I just control my portion sizes - and if truth be told, I don't like them as much any more. In fact our tradition of having a Saturday roast (everyone comes here for dinner) has now changed to Saturday curry night. And not one person has complained - instead I get complimented on how the low fat curry tastes as good if not better than a full fat version! Although I did get a few complaints about the windy after effects...

My father is really very fat (XXL tops) He is English and they were raised poor, Angela's Ashes poor. But throughout his teens he was sporty, he actually played goal keeper for the reserve Manchester United team, well back in his day (50 years ago) all throughout my childhood he was active Dad and would run around with us, but his eating never changed. Salt on everything and potatoes (usually chips) with every meal. When I say salt on everything - I mean everything - he even has butter on toast with salt, salt on pizza, and salt on sausage rolls - everything!!

Then as he stopped being active Dad he started to put on weight. In my teenage years he had multiple heart attacks and triple bypass surgery later on, but still he hasn't changed his eating patterns. So, I grew up this way too. Although I was always playing a sport or doing athletics etc etc so what I ate didn't matter too much back then - not like it does now!

It scary to think that these little things influence our children so dramatically. I can't blame my Dad for my weight problems today, as I was also raised by my ultra clean eating mother, who even when I was a kid grew, she grew/raised our own veggies and fruit and eggs. But I think as all 'Daddy's little girls' know - you do what Daddy says, not Mummy... boy how that changed later on in life... But I have notices that my kids are changing too - tonight I have had a request for special sausages and Cauliflower mash (the recipe I wrote a few pages back) So I will make these and I might enter them in the competition too...

From very early on in life I had decided that I wanted to regret doing things rather than regret not doing them... In other words I was going to do everything, take on anything and never say, NO! This philosophy has been a tremendous amount of fun, a huge amount of trouble but something I have forgotten recently. However I don't think that when I decided to adopt this philosophy I included eating everything - and I ate a lot - but that is past tense and now I am healthy eating Haze!

I did some food shopping yesterday (I shop daily at them moment - but yesterday was just fruit mainly, I bought lots of berries, and berries are not cheap ($7.99 for a punnet of blackberries!) but I am still better off financially than I was before. I think it is because now I only buy what I need, not whatever I want. And without all the junk food and soft drinks our grocery bill has come down by about $200-$300 per week!!! Which is handy because over our Christmas/Birthday month we spent waaaaay too much... I will have to work on the spends too much issue shortly or I'm never going to get to wear my bikini in Borneo (Major 1 year Goal)

Speaking of stretch marks (did you like that segway?) is there actually any way to get rid of them? Or will I have these reminders of my fat forever? Also, has anyone had laser hair removal? (PCOS makes for a lot of unwanted facial hair) I was thinking of having it done but am a bit worried that it doesn't work, or you get scars from it... I think my tweezer fingers are the part of my body that gets worked on the most!

I must thank you all again for your posts - it is nice to know you are all still reading it (Sally I haven't heard from you for a while I hope you are still going strong!) And I loved Vanessa's comment about reading this blog from the start! You guys and gals warm my heart!!

Love to you all - and thanks for 'Listening'.

Entry 54 - Jan 2013

So Friday was a record breaking day of heat here is SA (48.7 degrees according to my neighbours weather station) - and we still managed to get 6 people out for a bootcamp (in the shade and with minimum cardio) Plus I got in 2 swims and burnt a total of 900 Cals for the day... It wasn't really too bad - as it was a circuit type bootcamp and it was a basic session (no massive weights or excessive sit-ups!) so I pulled up fine on Saturday... apart from my first softball game back after the break...

I assume most of you know that this is my second ever game... and that being said - I am not very good...

My goal for yesterday was to get to first base and to get one out... I managed to stop the ball and chuck it to first base to assist in an out, so I am counting that, and in the first innings I made it to 2nd base (before a bizarre rule i had never heard of got me out) Apparently your foot must be touching the base when the pitcher pitches the ball and if it isn't you are out... So I didn't know this and although my foot was close it wasn't deemed to be touching so I got out... I was mystified, embarrassed and a little bit cross too!!

I mean really - if the team didn't sit around drinking and smoking during practise I might have known that... Well I know now!

Anyway in the 2nd innings I made it to 3rd base before loaded bases made me run home (on a bunt) so I really had no chance of getting home safely - but luckily I got to get out of the heat for a little while - It was very hot (35) and not a skerrick of breeze to whisk away the sweat...

I was on second base again and I have now had it confirmed that of all the positions 2nd base runs the most - which I assume is why they put me there! I burnt 905 Calories for the game and then came home had a cold shower, some lunch, and slept for an hour, I woke with a pounding headache... too much heat I think.

So after all that today is my day off and I really think I need it as I have another bootcamp scheduled for tomorrow morning, nice and early so we can get it done before the forecast heat of 42 hits!

I was cleaning out my office today, before uni starts up again I wanted to do a complete clean out, I came across a photo my Mum took of my and the boys when they first came to live with us 8 years ago - it is terrible...

My mum passed away shortly after this picture was taken and I got so upset thinking that this is how she knew me (admittedly I got bigger than this picture too) I have attached this picand one taken in 2010, still not my biggest but I tend to hide from the camera so fat pics are hard to find.

I now have these up on my wall to remind me of what will happen if I ever get complacent about my health again...

I hope you all had great weekends and are all going to post amazing stats up for your next mini milestones!! I am not sure how I am going to go with my 1km but I aim to do it all in one go - no stopping, but it is going to be really hot here this week so I will try to get it done early one morning - probably Wednesday at this stage.

Good luck everyone!!!

Entry 54 - Jan 2013

So big news - today's post comes with photos!!! I have done half way comparison shots, I am now wishing that I had done a side shot from when I started - but I cried enough over the 1st one so... Anyway no paper in the house to hold but as it's not an official weigh in or picture I didn't think it mattered too much!

I am so glad I can see that my tummy is getting smaller (side view) because when I look down - it looks the same... I was beginning to despair. I thought I was losing weight everywhere but my tummy - but I was wrong!! And look at my butt!! (five words I can remember saying ever) it's like a little peach (no fuzz jokes necessary)

Just when I was getting a bit down on myself for not doing better or not losing more this picture is going to inspire me to keep on going, and yes I know I need to buy new bras and undies... maybe in a few weeks time... although I have been saying that for weeks!

Perhaps those of you that are feeling a little down on yourselves should do a comparison shot too? I would dearly love to see them - it's my favourite part of the site (apart from talking to you guys of course) seeing the transformations and thinking that will be me some day!

I have softball training tonight and I am going to try to get them motivated to put out the cigarettes and do a bit more training and a lot less chatting!!


I have organised a beginners boot camp (for all my really unfit mum friends, and a few 12wbt'ers are coming along too - it's on Friday morning and it's going to be 42 degrees!! It will be like Bikram yoga (with out the yoga)

Oh and a BIG loss this week 1.8kgs!!! WOO HOO. Gotta love/hate my personal trainer!

Entry 53 - Dec 2012

Christmas day for me was scary... It was so strange. Christmas is my favourite day of the year, I get to show off my cooking, give presents to people and eat what ever I damn well want without judgement... This Christmas was different.

Our family tradition has always been crack open the ham and carve it for fried ham and eggs on toast for breakfast. It's been this way since I was a kid. But I was nervous. I didn't want to go over my 1200 even though I gave myself permission, after all it is just one day.

But in my mind I knew that if I went over on 'just this one day,' and still lost weight come weigh-in day, that I would find more 'just this one days.'

So for breakfast I ate 100gms of ham cooked in a non stick fry pan with no oil... It wasn't a lot but I was saving my extra cals till lunch - Lunch I ate turkey (breast only) 1 sweet potato, 1 normal potato, beans and peas, plus 4 of the little tomatoes (recipe above). Dessert was always going to be my problem - I make a killer Christmas pudding that hangs for 3-4 months and I soak the fruit in brandy for 1-2 years... And yes it is totally worth all the effort...

But it is VERY VERY calorific... a 100gm slice is about 450 calories... But I wanted some... so instead of completely abstaining I flexed my will power muscle in a different way. I cut off a 30gm piece and had it with low fat ice-cream. It was enough to satisfy me (as I was totally full from lunch) but I knew that last year I would have eaten about a 250gm slice (and had more later) YIKES

I had been on my feet since 6am cooking and cleaning and by 3pm I was knackered, but I grabbed my youngest and the puppy and we went for a 3km walk. Plus everyone wanted to see the bee hives so while they all got in the car and drove down the back paddocks I walked, and seeing as I am the apiarist (bee-keeper) I was the one who had too crack all the hives (lots of lifting) Which given my work out the day before was very difficult. Every part of my stomach and arms ached. So, I got some cals burnt too.

I wasn't hungry at dinner but I still had cals to eat so I had a few naughty treats - caramelised popcorn with cashews and cranberries and a skinny cow ice-cream sandwich. and I was done - all up for the day I was still under 1200 and had not had to miss out on much.

Plus I made HUGE doggy bags for everyone - leaving us with only 2 half hams (we had 2 full hams) left over turkey breast and a little bit of trifle and pudding (which the hubby and kids ate the next day) I was very happy with how I managed the day and know that the next time something like this happens I don't have to approach it with fear.

Anyway boxing day we headed into the city for the sales - OMG never again... It was shoulder to shoulder packed. but I did get myself a new iPad with my Xmas and birthday money/vouchers so I was happy... can you believe the first app I put on it was My Fitness Pal!!
But the only exercise I did was walking from shop to shop to shop to shop... There were a lot of shops visited...

The next day we went shopping again - this time we were searching for stuff for the kids - we got to the centre early and it was really quiet - but by the time we left it was chaotic! Only exercise I did was shooting hoops with the kids (new basketball ring)

Yesterday, I had a PT session and did a Zombie run before hand (1077 cals burnt) I was pretty spent after that and it was only 10am! But I counted that as my SSS and today is my day off (YAY) Which is lucky as I have had curry for 2 days in a row now... Wow, all those chick peas, beans and lentils... (I won't explain)

Let me know how you all are doing over the Xmas to New Year period - I would love to hear from you all! Take care and please be safe if you are driving!!

Entry 52 - Dec 2012

Christmas day for me was scary... It was so strange. Christmas is my favourite day of the year, I get to show off my cooking, give presents to people and eat what ever I damn well want without judgement... This Christmas was different.

Our family tradition has always been crack open the ham and carve it for fried ham and eggs on toast for breakfast. It's been this way since I was a kid. But I was nervous. I didn't want to go over my 1200 even though I gave myself permission, after all it is just one day.

But in my mind I knew that if I went over on 'just this one day,' and still lost weight come weigh-in day, that I would find more 'just this one days.'

So for breakfast I ate 100gms of ham cooked in a non stick fry pan with no oil... It wasn't a lot but I was saving my extra cals till lunch - Lunch I ate turkey (breast only) 1 sweet potato, 1 normal potato, beans and peas, plus 4 of the little tomatoes (recipe above). Dessert was always going to be my problem - I make a killer Christmas pudding that hangs for 3-4 months and I soak the fruit in brandy for 1-2 years... And yes it is totally worth all the effort...

But it is VERY VERY calorific... a 100gm slice is about 450 calories... But I wanted some... so instead of completely abstaining I flexed my will power muscle in a different way. I cut off a 30gm piece and had it with low fat ice-cream. It was enough to satisfy me (as I was totally full from lunch) but I knew that last year I would have eaten about a 250gm slice (and had more later) YIKES

I had been on my feet since 6am cooking and cleaning and by 3pm I was knackered, but I grabbed my youngest and the puppy and we went for a 3km walk. Plus everyone wanted to see the bee hives so while they all got in the car and drove down the back paddocks I walked, and seeing as I am the apiarist (bee-keeper) I was the one who had too crack all the hives (lots of lifting) Which given my work out the day before was very difficult. Every part of my stomach and arms ached. So, I got some cals burnt too.

I wasn't hungry at dinner but I still had cals to eat so I had a few naughty treats - caramelised popcorn with cashews and cranberries and a skinny cow ice-cream sandwich. and I was done - all up for the day I was still under 1200 and had not had to miss out on much.

Plus I made HUGE doggy bags for everyone - leaving us with only 2 half hams (we had 2 full hams) left over turkey breast and a little bit of trifle and pudding (which the hubby and kids ate the next day) I was very happy with how I managed the day and know that the next time something like this happens I don't have to approach it with fear.

Anyway boxing day we headed into the city for the sales - OMG never again... It was shoulder to shoulder packed. but I did get myself a new iPad with my Xmas and birthday money/vouchers so I was happy... can you believe the first app I put on it was My Fitness Pal!!
But the only exercise I did was walking from shop to shop to shop to shop... There were a lot of shops visited...

The next day we went shopping again - this time we were searching for stuff for the kids - we got to the centre early and it was really quiet - but by the time we left it was chaotic! Only exercise I did was shooting hoops with the kids (new basketball ring)

Yesterday, I had a PT session and did a Zombie run before hand (1077 cals burnt) I was pretty spent after that and it was only 10am! But I counted that as my SSS and today is my day off (YAY) Which is lucky as I have had curry for 2 days in a row now... Wow, all those chick peas, beans and lentils... (I won't explain)

Let me know how you all are doing over the Xmas to New Year period - I would love to hear from you all! Take care and please be safe if you are driving!!

Entry 51 - Dec 2012

Firstly, I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas. I am cooking for the masses tomorrow so I am busily rushing around trying to get everything done, but I wanted to update my blog as a priority (let's face it - the floors can wait to be mopped!)

Also I needed to let you all know that I signed up and paid for Round 1 2013, are any of you guys doing another round?... Hopefully next round will see me to my goal weight...


True to my word, I was up at 5:45am this morning and after a quick 'wake-me-up' shower and a tooth brushing I was off to the local park...

I arrived by 6:09am and was zombie running buy 6:10. I ran for about an hour and 20mins only stopping to walk (of course) and get a drink of water. It felt good to be out there again. I was aware of my internal dialogue this time, I was trying to listen to what I was telling myself so I could relay it to you all... It went a little something like this

Evil Haze: 'So, your knee is still sore why are you doing this, there's no shame in stopping if you're injured'

Me: 'That's true... I am injured, but my knee is heaps better than what it was and it really isn't effecting my running.'

Evil Haze: 'Hmmm yeah, but no-one else knows that.'

Me: 'But I'm not running to impress anyone.'

Evil Haze: 'Really?! If that is true why do you care if people think you are fat.'

Me: ' It's not about that, I want to lose weight, I feel better, looking better is the added bonus.'

Evil Haze: 'It'd be easier if you just stayed fat.'

Me: 'I know, but nothing was ever achieved by sitting around on my arse eating chips.'

Evil Haze: ' But chips are soooo good, you can never eat chips again.'

Me: 'Can too, when I reach my goal weight I can eat chips in moderation and I will just exercise any extra calories off.'

Evil me: 'Mooooore, This is sooo hard, I don't want to do more.'

Me: 'Shut up, we are doing more.'

Silence for a little while...

Me: 'Ok, just need to make it to the end of the signs.'

Evil Haze: ' Or what about just to the 50 line? It's close and then you can walk further to recover. You're awfully tired and you still have a PT session after this.'

Me: 'That's true maybe I shouldn't push myself to hard.'

Evil Haze: 'No, don't over exert yourself or you will have nothing left to give to the PT and she will think you are slack.'

Me:' Well, I don't want her to think I'm slack.'

Evil Haze: 'Nearly at the 50, you are really puffing you know.'

Me: 'I know, but the end of the signs aren't that much further, and I will be disappointed if I
don't make it all the way.'

Evil Haze: ' STOP, you just went past the 50 - I thought we agreed.'

Me: 'Sucker!!! I'm doing it and I'm sprinting!'

Evil Haze: ' STOP! You're going to wreck your knee!'

Me: 'NER NER NER NER NER I made it and you can't stop me!'

Evil Haze was quiet for a while after that one!!

I know that there are quite possibly some deep seeded psychological issues here... all you Psychologists out there are probably calling for the white van to come and collect me and silently measuring me up for a straight jacket (size 14), but that is an honest account of what goes on inside my head as I am running... I don't know why I am constantly trying to talk myself out of things... Does anyone else have this problem, or it it just me... (YIKES I hope not)

So anyway, after my run I had the PT session - Megan was on a mission to kill me... she started off by telling me, 'Today, we are getting back to basics.' Evil Haze was high fiving actual Haze at this... until Megan followed that up by saying, 'Today we are going to do 100 of everything. 100 lunges, 100 crunches, 100 push ups, 100 leg ups, and 100 of what ever else I can think of, my goal here is to make you hurl.'

I think the colour drained out of my face, I was no longer doing internal high fives, I was calculating if I could out run my PT to make it to my car... I couldn't, I had to face facts, Megan was going to kill me!

So, true to her word that's what we did... Plus the nasty things she could think of were 100 tricep weights and 100 bicep curls (using the 3kg weights)... (this is where I nearly hurled, for some reason I hate the arm weights... or more to the point they hate me)

Strangely though I thought my new yoga mat (that I got for my birthday) had a big lump in it... Every time I sat on it, the lump was right under my bum bone... I checked under the mat to be sure it wasn't the ground being a little lumpy, nope... It was definitely my mat... so I moved left... still lumpy, then I moved right... still lumpy... Oh, silly me, maybe it was in my pants... nope...

OMG it was my bum bone!!! It's been years since I had felt it!! Megan thought this was hilarious... I was just proud!

Megan actually said my bum was looking very toned... (loved that compliment too)

Anyway, although I nearly puked, I stayed strong. Ha ha I won that round... but then she promised shed get me next time... which is only a few days away as I booked a session for Friday... All up today I burnt 1274 Calories!! So this will be my first ever burn-more-than-I-eat day!!

As it is school holidays I had a designated photographer on hand who captured a few of my more painful moments!!

Stay safe everyone and let me know how you get on with your Christmas festivities (oh, and let me know if you are mental too)

Entry 50 - Dec 2021

What a busy time of the year - and I am sure I am not the only one! My oldest had his sleep over bday party and it was fun... Although I am sure the kids had more fun than me! This year I got to play with the kids - I had the energy and I knew that they couldn't puff me out too quickly. This is the first time I have been able to do this... It may be the last time too - apparently gang up on Haze with the water pistols was the best game ever!

The kids were asleep by about 11:30pm but were up (well at least I heard them) at 5:30am... One of the boys fell asleep on the way home (10min car trip)

I survived without too much damage to the diet too - although I did eat about 20 jelly babies... but I put them in MFP and missed out on a snack... It was really hard with all the chips and lollies and cake but I persevered and stayed under the 1200 (just - 1196)

Ok here comes the BIG GUILTY CONFESSION!!! I have not done ANY exercise since hiking up Morialta... (6 days ago) Admittedly my knee was killing me up until Thursday but I had no excuse yesterday - and I had none today... but this morning I just talked myself out of it. (Stupid head!) And tomorrow is going to be 39 (in the city usually about 3-5 degrees hotter here) and I don't do so well in the heat so I was going to do swimming exercise... But that always feels like cheating as I enjoy it too much...

I know I just need to get back into the swing of it but I can't seem to get my butt into gear... I have organised a PT session for Monday morning 7:30am and was hoping to get a run in beforehand... And I am currently in discussions with myself about doing a very early run on Christmas morning (before the kids get up) so that I wont be stressing over calories all day. But this will be tough as I love hearing the kids sneaking down the hall to see what Santa has bought them... (usually 6am-ish) and I would probably be looking to be out running from 5:30am - 6:30am... I guess I will try... not much more I can do...

OK, now for the positives... My youngest gave my a big hug the other day - right around the waist... He stopped and said 'Hang on, let me try that again,' which was very cute, so he did it again... then he called his brother in for a shot... "Hey, look at this, I can get my arms all the way around her, how far can yours reach?' They then proceeded to have a competition about how far around up their arms they could reach when hugging me... Of course I don't usually let them have competitions as they lead them to fights, but I was getting lots of big squeezy hugs, so I didn't mind at all!

I don't know about you all, but I am running out of clothes to wear, if I hadn't found the 3 pairs of size 14 shorts (still with tags on - that I can't remember buying) in the bottom of my drawer I think I'd be walking around naked! Nothing fits any more but I was thinking to myself, I cant throw that out... What if I put weight back on, I would just have to buy them all again...

This chain of thought had been happening for awhile... and them I realised that I was doing exactly what Michelle said, about the self sabotage stuff... Pfft...and I thought it didn't apply to me!! Hah, I couldn't have been more wrong!

Why the hell am I trying to lose weight if in a years time I will be back in size 18 clothes??

So over the past week, if I put something on that didn't fit any more, it gets folded then put straight into a garbage bag to take to the local charity shop. I WILL NOT BE THIS SIZE AGAIN!

So far I have dropped off 2 full bags of pants to the local op shop, and I am now on to my 3rd...

I bought myself a cheap shirt today for Christmas day, it's not the pretty dress I wanted to wear for Xmas (this was a mini goal) but not because I didn't achieve the weight loss, it's because I didn't want to spend $200 on a dress I would only wear once... Plus there is always next Christmas when I will look even hotter than I do now - I might just walk around in a bikini!!

Speaking of... Does anyone else find themselves thinking damn I am looking good... and not caring anymore about strutting around the house in their undies?? or is it just me??

Last year I hated getting into the pool, or rather I hated getting into my bathers, getting into the pool was fine because no-one could see me underwater...

This year I am begging the kids to come swimming with me... and they are complaining... 'But Mum, we went swimming before lunch... why do we have to go again?'

So many things about me are changing and they are changing so quickly that it isn't until I stop to compare the old me with the current me that I catch the changes... another example of this is my food focus... I used to be so focussed on what I was eating and when, I would even get angry and lose my temper if I didn't get a certain food as I had planned, usually take away. I know - totally terrible right?!?

Now the only emphasis I place on food is whether or not it is healthy and how many cals it contains...

Also my engagement and wedding rings are nearly to the dangerous point of falling off... they still don't flick off my knuckle but they nearly do... I wasn't even aware that I had fat hands before!

I put an entry into the snack attack thread - awesome thread if you haven't read it - totally check it out as there are some great snack ideas... Please feel free to post yours here (but add them to the snack thread first in case you win a prize) Also if you have any awesome low-cal curries - I WANT THE RECIPE PLEASE!!!

Anyway here is my entry...

This is my favourite accompaniment to any meal - they are a bit fiddly but once you get the hang of it you will whiz through them in no time at all. Plus at around 7cals each they satisfy the savoury cravings and you can eat lots!!

Savoury Stuffed Cherry Tomatoes

Serves 4 | 10 per serve | 63 cals per serve (6.3 Calories per tomato)


40 small cherry tomatoes (approx 2 punnets of small - or 3 punnets of medium)
100gms low fat ricotta
1 tbspn grated peccorino (or parmasen if you cant find peccorino)
1 spring onion
25gms finely sliced prosciutto


Remove the top from each cherry tomato. Hollow out the tomatoes with the back of a teaspoon, being careful not to puncture the skin. (You made need a paring knife to cut through the membrane inside the tomato). Stand each hollow tomato upside down on paper towel to drain.

While the tomatoes are draining finely chop the spring onion and prosciutto, then place into a small bowl.

Add the ricotta to the bowl and stir to combine.

Fill each of the cherry tomatoes with the stuffing and place onto a lined baking tray, if your tomatoes wont stand up try using a mini muffin tray. (You can put the lid back on at this stage but I like my stuffing to get a bit toasty on top)

Place into a preheated oven (175 degrees) and bake for 15 mins or until a slight colour appears on the stuffing.

Serve and eat immediately.

**As an alternative you can use small zucchinis (19 cals each) - 1 stuffed zucchini half is worth approx 4 cherry tomatoes.

Entry 49 - Dec 2012

OK so that last 5 days have been red flags days... My husbands bday was on Friday, mine was on Monday and my oldest sons bday is today, where we are having 6 boys for a sleep-over party - not sure how much sleep is going to be happening!... (and all this is just one week before Xmas!)

So how have I gone...

On Friday Matt turned 39! But luckily the meal he wanted for his bday dinner was a curry - so I made the I-cant-believe-it's-not-butter-chicken recipe and I only had a weeny slice of the pavalova (with strawberries and Chantilly cream) but I saved my snacks as I knew this was coming and I stayed under the 1200 Cals

Saturday was Softball so I burned lots of cals and stuck to the 1200

Sunday was AWESOME!!! I did all the Xmas shopping in the morning (had a JingleBerry smoothie from Boost for breakfast - it was very yummy) and rushed home ate a wrap for lunch and went for a massive hike with 6 other 12wbt'er for our mini milestone challenge. It was awesome. Not only was it awesome to meet everyone that I have been chatting with over Facebook but it was a really tough hike up the mountain at Morialta Falls Conservation Park.

We started with the steep incline and to me it felt like we were going straight up... Boy was I out of breath by the first stop. Although once the initial climb was out of the way (about 30 mins) it was a very gradual decline from there, except at the end where it was a steep decline, made even steeper by my back side as I slid to a spectacular halt, grazing the side of my leg and bruising my behind. But if you know me, you know that I am totally uncoordinated and I had expected to fall more than just the once - I was incredibly thankful I didn't fall off the edge.

I was fine the next day, except for my knee again. It was already a bit sore from softball but I think the mountain hike made it worse. So I have been dosing up on Wild Krill oil which is doing the trick. Unfortunately I haven't been able to exercise since the hike, but I think I can fit one in on Friday morning - I am sure my knee will be ok and if not I will strap it and do it anyway.

Which brings us to Monday - my birthday!

It was a pretty boring day actually - although I did take the kids out to breakfast at Virginia Nursery - it has a restaurant too - and I had eggs benedict (450 cals) but I wasn't hungry at lunch time and had a snack instead so I was back to level with the cals. I also wasn't sure if Matt was getting cake (even though I asked him not to) so I saved my snacks.

As it turned out I didn't get a cake so I had 1 1/2 servings of my Snags (my requested meal) and a skinny cow ice cream sandwich for dessert.

I think my family may have cottoned onto the idea that I am on a diet program, usually for my gifts I get fancy chocolates, taken out to dinner, etc etc. This year I got a yoga mat, a MB water bottle, a Rebel Sport voucher, and cash!! (oh and a bee-keeping magazine subscription)

Yesterday was an exhausting day of preparing for my oldest sons bday party (which is today) we are having 6 boys sleeping over - yikes! So my house if filled with chips and lollies... but hopefully not for too long. For dinner they are having hot dogs (which I cant eat due to them being filled with MSG) so Matt and I are going to be having the Kangaroo Larb again. To combat the looly craving I am sure to have I have made a JUMBO fruit salad filled with summer fruits and berries - YUMMM!

However yesterday I was supposed to be helping in a soup kitchen but as I never got a phone call back I was told I wouldn't be needed (well she said she'd call me if I was needed) I was a bit disappointed but hey at least now my house is clean!

So this week I lost 500gms... which I am not too unhappy with as I am very constipated at the moment... well I was before weigh-in - thanks to some Senekot I took last night I am no longer 'bunged up' as Matt so lovingly calls it...

Anyway I must be off - I have a cake to decorate and water pistols to name...(don't ask!)

Please let me know how you all went with your weigh-ins!!

Entry 48 - Dec 2012

Ok have have HUGE butterflies - I am about 20mins away from heading off for my first softball game... I can't remember the last time I was this nervous... I am hoping writing this blog with keep me a little bit distracted....

I am taking deep, calming breaths and I am fine, while I am doing them, but the minute I stop - BAM! the nerves kick in... I am rationalising with myself, I ask myself, 'What's the worst thing that can happen?' OMG I could fall and snap my ankle, I got told this softball horror story at our training session (that was cancelled but no-one told me, so I turned up to 4 people sitting around drinking beer and smoking...)

OK, OK, Calm yourself, you'll be fine, so what if you strike out, so what if you drop every ball that comes your way... OMG I am making it worse!!!

I am now picturing myself fumbling the ball and as I finally throw from the outfield (I am sure this will be my position) my pants fall down!... Good Grief Charlie Brown!!

My husband and kids are out shopping for my present and are going straight to the ground... it is a ground isn't it... Oh no it's a field... or a pitch... I am sooooo not prepared for this!! I should have watched more YouTube vids...

OK 10mins till I leave... I am back and forward between pacing and the PC... maybe I should cancel... No I can't do that last minute, it's totally uncool, what if I........ NO, JFDI!

I am sucking it up... feel like I need to puke but I am going! Ok peeps please send me calming, positive vibes, and wish me luck - here I go.... ARGHHH!!!!

a few hours later...

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!

OK, so it wasn't a great start to my softball career - I WAS so nervous - but true to form it was rather comedic...

We did a warm up (jog 50mts then stretch - jog 50mts back, throw the ball back and forward and voila, warm!) after the 'warm up,' the manager read out the batting order and field positions...

I was last on the batting line up and relegated to right out field (the ball never goes here) which suited me fine, I have no reservations that I am a skilled player so after I asked where exactly I needed to stand I trotted off merrily to my spot in the field... except we were batting... we won the toss and sent the other team out to field... Ok embarrassing, but I don't think too many people noticed because they were all still getting ready etc...

I did a few stretched and jogged back in pretending I was warming up... Phew close one! We then lined up, high fived the other team and got a talking to from the referee (umpire??? still not sure) did you know you cant wear any jewellery! - I had to take off my HRM, earrings and engagement and wedding rings... (but I stashed my HRM in my bra.) weird right - its not a contact sport so I don't know why earrings are an issue!

Anyway, I really didn't have to wait long to bat (picture attached) and my nerves were going crazy... my stomach felt as though I had swallowed a bucket of sea water!

Ok, I put my helmet on, pick up my bat, and approach the plate...

First pitch comes in....

Swing and a miss... Nerves are going crazy - the 1st base coach is yelling at me about keeping my arms up, follow through, stand closer to the base, not that close, grind out your back foot... Ok, here comes the next one...

Second pitch comes in.... It's really high... but I am so nervous I swing at it anyway and still missed... I completely forgot I could leave them, the umpire asks incredulously 'Did she swing at that?' OH GOD HOW EMBARRASSING!!

The 1st base coach calls Time, the 3rd base and the 1st base coaches come in to talk to me too - oh god this is BAD and totally embarrassing! They are both telling me what I should and shouldn't head is spinning with all this information... I cant help but think that we should have covered this in training...

I think to myself just nod and smile and then maybe they will go away and just let me strike out... eventually they leave me and I face up for the pitch...

WHACK! I felt like I smacked the skin off it... but I didn't it went to ground and I drop the bat and run hard... I knew it was going to be close... the ball was travelling towards the first base player... I had to put on all my speed.... it was going to be super close... OUT! Noooooo!!! Although later I did get told, 'Holy shit girl you can run.' And I silently thanked Zombie training gods.

We got 4 home and my getting out was our 3 outs so we went in to field... Right out fielder how hard can this be... NOT VERY

The ball didn't come to me once and I was back up 1st base (but 1st base rarely needs to leave her spot...) We got hammered - they got 10 home (that's the max then we swap again)

This time I had a plan - I would leave the high and lows and only hit the good ones... the pitcher was very inconsistent and I had worked out that nearly every player walked...

Plus, the only way we could win now was to get our 10 home and surely that wouldn't be my responsibility... Until, of course it it...

So, it's my turn to bat... bases are loaded and it's 2 down.. I HAVE TO SCORE... how did the game come down to me??

I am getting ready to go up to bat and the other team calls time...

They swapped the pitcher!?!?! WHAT?!?!?

My plan is in tatters - I have no idea about this new pitcher, I have only seen her do her 5 practice pitches and 3 were off and 2 were good...

OK, so this time I block out all the yelling and coaching tips, eyes on the ball...

1st pitch... wide (well left me!) (ball 1)
2nd pitch... oh it looks good - I swing - It flies backwards off the bat and smacks the catcher in her face guard... 'OMG are you ok?' I turn to make sure she is OK... People are looking at me like I'm a freak... apparently you are supposed to smile at those ones, like you meant that was a foul ball strike.. (Strike)
3rd pitch... way high (well left gain) (ball 2)
4th pitch... nearly caught me in the ribs... (ball 3)
5th pitch... I decide to leave it, it comes in... and it's good damn it! (strike)
So now I have loaded bases, my count is 2 strikes 3 balls...
6th pitch comes in... It looks wide I leave it... (STRIKE YOUR OUT)

NOOO I feel dreadful, I have lost the game for the team, I shouldn't be playing yet, I haven't trained enough, I suck, I am so sorry, I feel like crying...

Then I get a slap on the back 'Good Job Haze, I would have left that one too', and another of my team mates pipes in - 'there are 3 outs in an innings Haze, yours was only one of them.' (Hers was one of the others)

Ok I feel a bit better and jog off to my spot in the field... at least I cant do any more damage out here! (except I leave my batting gloves on and have to run it to take them off.... And people definitely noticed that... SO EMBARRASSING

Our 2nd base is having a shocker, dropping and fumbling everything, same as our 1st base player...

Coach calls time after the 2nd batter hits and the ball is fumbled again... She starts swapping people around... I know I'm safe in my little right field spot smile... until, of course I'm not...

'Haze, 2nd base.' The baffled look on my face must have made it clear I thought she was making a mistake, so I get a follow up command of 'Yes, you and, yes now...'

I have been paying attention to what the others were doing so I jump into the spot where the 2nd base player (who is now right out field) was standing and pretend I know what I am doing... People are calling out instructions from the side lines, I am getting advice from the 3 different coaches boxes... I just smile and nod... WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING??

2nd base is a lot of running backwards and forwards... which was fine with me... I felt lazy in the outfield anyway...

The ball only came to me twice - 1st time along the ground and I held the runner on 3rd so that was a good thing (so I got told) then the next time I saw the girl on 1st trying to sneak to 2nd base and I yelled 'YES YES,' as loud as I could (as the pitcher had the ball and I didn't know what her name was) she spun and threw it to me and I caught it and tagged the sneaker - woo hoo I got my first out!! YAY ME!

That was their last out and that was game...

So we lost, not sure how much by but I had heaps of fun, even the embarrassing bits and I burnt 872 cals in 1hour 55mins, so my SSS wasn't totally lost!

Entry 47 - Dec 2012


Wow I have been super busy. I have been up at 6am and to bed at 11:30pm nearly every day since Sunday and I am soooo tired... So what have I been up to??

Well, let me get this out of the way first.... I have only exercised once this week... that was Tuesday, I have been swimming and burnt about 200 cals everyday since, but I was playing in the pool with the kids. It was too hot so softball training was cancelled so I can't even count that!!

I don't think that I have mentioned this in the past but I used to be a commercial photographer, but when the boys came to live with us they both needed a lot more love and attention than I could provide when I was running a studio full time. So Matt and I agreed that I would close the studio and if work came up I would do it if I could fit it in around the kids schedule.

So some work came up... A lot of work. I am shooting, designing and printing a brochure, catalogue, website and full colour price list for a commercial rose grower... this is A LOT OF WORK! and I am on a very tight deadline (finished product by the end of the 1st week in January) Anyway I have been doing all this as well as all the kids end of year stuff, class parties, speech day award ceremonies, etc etc... PLUS it is Matt's b'day tomorrow AND I had a relative drop in unannounced from interstate...

Upside - My house has about 500 roses in it smile very pretty...

My diet has been under the 1200 but days like today - it is way under (I am eating dinner now and it's 9:02pm) But I am trying my best and I am going to get chased around by some zombies tomorrow - the kids are coming with me so I will have my own cheers squad.

Today I had to go and buy new clothes (whilst I was getting my hubby's bday pressie) I saw some MB pants at Big W - black with a red waist band - and I had to buy size 14!!! Lauz please do yourself a favour and pop in to Big W and get some new knickers and workout pants (but yay for falling down pants!)

I have had another big challenge this week... Matt took the kids to Maccas as a special treat (so Mummy could get some work done) anyway, Matt took my new car as it had more fuel and he didn't want to go to the servo (typical) so the youngest son ordered nuggets and they gave him ketchup... which when her tried to open squirted it all over the roof of the car (my poor poor new 4wd)...

So now when I get in the car it smells like Maccas, and if you think that temptation gets easier - it doesn't... well it might for you, but for me it what I imagine recovering alcoholics go through when they smell their favourite drink... Maccas is what I would have as my final meal on death row... So, so sad... I hope one day I can say a lovely salad with a zesty lemon vinaigrette and a lean chicken fillet... (and mean it)

But the biggest news is... I finally finished my fitness test and measurements..

Last week I lost 900gms and so far my total body change is 40.5cm smaller!

Push Ups (Toes) = 2 more (I did 2 where as before I had 0)
Push Ups (Knees) = 9 more
Sit Reach (cm) = 2 more
Time Trial (min:sec) 1:12 faster
Wall Sit (min:sec) 0:11 longer

So I am faster, fitter and stronger, and no I am not perfect, and yes I let life get in the way a little bit too much, but hey, I am human, and life is going to get in the way. I am glad that it is happening now, it tests me - to see how I will cope post MB12WBT, and so far I am incredibly proud of myself for sticking to it as best I can and getting back up when I fall.

Entry 46 - Dec 2012

Yes, I was having a down moment (again) good God I am having a lot of those lately!! Like always I picked myself up and (like Michelle says) I didn't play the blame game...

Yesterday I was 'too busy' to train - I watched Mish's mind set video (perfectly timed) and realised that it was me! I was so shocked to think that I would do that - I am usually the positive one, the upbeat one, the one others turn to for a pick me up...

But through this I learnt something about myself (again) I now no longer turn to food when I am down... I stuck to my cals, stayed away from the shops and just worked through it. I made 64 iced cupcakes for the kids class parties today! Still didn't eat any!

So last night we had the Thai Kangaroo Larb for dinner. I was so aprehensive about eating roo as I have never had it before and am not a great trier of new foods... (but I'm getting better on this diet) Matt made it for me when he got home as I was still icing cupcakes and he also did the dishes!! Yay Matt! The big surprise for me was that it was soooo yummy. Along with nearly all the curry recipes, this one is going in the have again pile!

I finally got to bed at 11:30pm last night and was up at 6:15am, got the kids ready and was out the door by 7am to do my 1km time trial. Matt had to leave till 7:30am so I had to get to the starting point and run home...

So armed with MY NEW SHOES (pics attached) and my iPhone as a timer I started. I had a plan in my head of where I would make it to before I stopped - but I didn't quite make it (later I worked out that it would have been 800 meters non-stop) I had to keep pulling up my pants!!

Even my tight workout pants are baggy now! The lady in the butcher shop actually called me out on my baggy work out pants today!!

Anyway I got about half way before I stopped to catch my breath and before I had fully got it back I was off again. I stopped once more for about 20 seconds and was off again. I smashed my time from 7mins 35secs to....

6 mins 23 seconds!!! WOOO HOOO more than 1 minute off!! Needless to say I was back home well before Matt had to leave for work. But things were weird in my body... I don't know how to explain it, other than I was coughing - a lot - for about 20 minutes, I also felt a little light headed... Anyway I hydrated well (about 1 litre of water) and headed into the school to do the drop off.

So after I carried all the cupcakes to the classes (a workout in itself) I headed off to my PT Session... I didn't do so good...

For some reason I was getting dizzy a lot - Maybe because it was so hot but it was only when I was standing... It was terribly strange and more than a little disconcerting... Megan (my PT) suggested that it could be low blood pressure and we tried things that didn't involve any more jumping or lifting things above my head...

I managed to get through the session with Megan getting me to do lots of floor work, crunches and planks etc. - I held my plank for 1min 36secs! another PB for me.

I headed home having burnt 795 cals for the morning and I am pretty happy with that.

On Sunday myself and a bunch of other people are going to be doing a 7.3km hike up through a set of waterfalls (Morialta Falls) for our mini milestone challenge... I think this will be my SSS as I am sure I will burn over 1000 cals climbing up and down a mountain! We are going to take a few pictures so I will make sure I post them up for you all.

Speaking of pictures... Are you guys going to take another 'before' shot tomorrow? I think I will just so I can have a time lapse style picture of how I am going... I will also complete the rest of my fitness test tomorrow, and do my measurements...

How did everyone's fitness tests go?

Entry 45 - Dec 2012

What do you do when the house of cards that is your life start to fall down?

OK that is probably a little bit too dramatic...

How about this...

Weekends suck!

Not a phrase I thought I would EVER say but for me on this program, they suck.

For some reason on Saturday I woke up with a cracking headache... I woke at 8am (late for me) Matt had already left for his run so I got up and thought I shower might help... and it did... well a little bit. So I thought maybe if I have some breakfast that would help too... and it did... a little bit...

Matt got home at 9am and after he showered and got dressed I was supposed to go and do my SSS but by this time it was 33 degrees and blowing up dust everywhere. there was a cool change supposed to come through later in the day so I decided that I would probably feel better by then and also the weather wouldn't be so terrible.

So we went shopping for Xmas presents - and it was busy and loud... my head was pounding by the time we left and I still had to take my oldest out to a friends birthday party at 1pm. Blerk!

We got home and I crashed on the bed trying to get rid of the thumping, Matt reluctantly agreed to do the birthday party run but conveniently 'forgot' and was down the back paddocks when it came to to leave.

I got back and slept for 2 hours. When I awoke I was feeling better - not 100% but better nonetheless.

I went and did the bday pick up and when I got back Matt had started dinner (I think he must've been feeling guilty). We talked about what we we're having (my favourite roast lamb) and decided to cook the veggies differently.... Usually we par boil the spuds in garlic water, then add them to the hot oil (sometimes duck fat) but usually olive oil (as we make our own - and have lots). This time we tried baking paper on the bottom of the pan and just sprayed them with olive oil spray... and no it wasn't the same, they didn't crunch up but they weren't bad at all. They wont be what I make for the guests at Christmas but they will be what we eat from now on...

Anyway, I didn't do my SSS as I had made way too many excuses and just stayed home.

Sunday morning we were up early as we were meeting a group of 12wbt'er in Stirling in the Adelaide Hills for breakfast... (does anyone else find this ironic - you know, meeting other dieters at a restaurant??) Anyway, it went well - I was definitely the biggest (fattest) there - they were all rounder 3'ers and some were doing round 4 too... It was good to meet others but as they all knew each other I felt like the 3rd wheel... but one of the girls and I went to middle school together so it was good to catch up with her.

I ordered what I thought was the best meal as far as cals go (Eggs Benedict) but it worked out to be about 500 cals when I put the ingredients into myfitnesspal... so I decided to skip my snacks for the day, but ended up skipping lunch as I had an afternoon snooze... so I had also missed a snack...

Needless to say I ate a lot of dessert to get upto my daily cals...

So the weekend was a total loss in the exercise department... I really am going to have to get my head back in the game as every time things get tough or my time is needed else where I blow off exercising... although I am very proud that I haven't gone over the cals since I started... I am hoping that this is a lifestyle change thing kicking in...

I am off to do a zombie run and although I am really busy I am going to do it today regardless - even if I have to go at 6pm when Matt gets home - I am going!

Plus tomorrow is my STS with a run and a PT session - so I will get in an SSS regardless!

Thankfully I know motivation is a crock otherwise I really would be skipping a lot more exercise sessions...

OK time to JFDI... How did your weekends go?

Entry 44 - Dec 2012

I found the start of my weight loss journey both incredibly frustrating and exhilarating. I was frustrated that I wasn't thin already and exhilarated that I was losing weight at the same time...

I think my most surprising change is the change in my fitness and my attitude towards it... I was all set to blow off training AGAIN today and thought, 'Meh it's hot I'll jump in the pool with the kids later this afternoon and do some laps.' But I sat on the exercise bike and thought - I'll watch the latest Sons of Anarchy episode (love that show) and pedal for 10 mins, then I looked at the Cals burnt on my HRM - 'Not enough, keep going, go for at least 30 mins, you can stop at 30!.'

All up I watched the entire show and pedaled for 58 mins, 20kms and 303 Cals burnt! Plus the 200 I will burn in the pool later makes for a good day!


Just received a text message - the other softball team has forfeited so no game tomorrow - They must've heard I was playing and got scared off (Yeah right!)


So it looks like I still get a SSS tomorrow after all - Although I saw what Mish has in store for us and I'm not quite so keen any more!!

Oh well hopefully I will burn them fairly quickly tomorrow and get a relaxing rest of the weekend - with roast lamb tomorrow night. (My absolute favourite of all the roasts)

Entry 43 - Dec 2012

So today was a total BUST... Got all ready for the excursion, I spent a good 30 minutes making lunch and preparing healthy snacks, packing water bottles etc etc arrived at school on time ... only to be told that there are enough parents going today and because my oldest son had been sick they assumed I wasn't going...

So I off loaded all the stuff I was carrying for my youngest and headed off to get some groceries... And I left all the food I had made for myself in his lunch box... (which he said was very yum)

Off I went to do the groceries, not realizing I had sent my food off, and forgot that I had no grocery bags or shopping list... This is dangerous... I just wondered aimlessly around the shops putting random things in my trolley... most of it healthy.. but ooooh look Tim Tams are 2 packets for $2 Bargain... ooh and Samboy chips are on special (I haven't been able to eat Samboys or Smiths for over a year due to the MSG thing) oooh 2 Boxes of Diet coke for $40...

Talk about impulse shopping...thankfully I woke up from my stupor in time to go back and carefully replace all the junk food back on to the shelves and come home with only healthy foods... (well everything except the ham that I originally went in there for)

But I think these action say something about my habits, spending and eating!! Definitely going on the list of things to improve!

But the good news is today I fit into my goal pants!! That's right folks I am officially in size 14 shorts (down from a size 18 when I started in pre-season) I just wanted to see if I could nearly do them up yet... I was totally shocked when they went on, and zipped up without any hassles - although I still do the weird superman-about-to-take-flight pose before I do up my pants... I wonder how long I will do this for...

I thought about doing some exercise but I was my own saboteur today... even with my newly acquired exercise bike ($30 from a friend who really should have kept it...)

But instead of doing that I started making the decorations for the cupcakes to go to school next week - I have to make 84 cup cakes, 30 for each of my sons classes, and 24 for my Dad to take in to his work (he volunteers at the Salvos, so I really don't mind making them for the other volunteers - they all work so hard.

Actually Hi have signed me and the kids up to be volunteers at a 'soup kitchen' on the 18th December (day after my b'day, day before My oldest son's b'day) Anyway, this is when the Salvos do their Christmas meal for the homeless - and I love Christmas plus everyone deserves to be able to celebrate it in some way, with the added bonus that it may give the kids a bit of perspective and maybe help to teach them community spirit.

I would do it on the 19th too (Christmas meals are done over 2 days) but that is My oldest sons b'day sleep over party and he is having 4 kids come over - should be... loud!!

(I'm giving away all my secrets for the next few weeks now!)

So needless to say I haven't exercised today and I promise to punish myself tomorrow with 2 workouts... I might do my SSS tomorrow as I am playing softball Saturday... hmmm I have some thinking to do!!

Here is my early Christmas present to you all - I have invented a recipe that is soo yummy I just had to share it... I call it...

Haze's Amazing Snags... (catchy right?)

Serves 5 (but I don't think it would freeze very well)


10 slices THIN lean beef minute steak (I get mine from the butcher) (about 800gms)
Tube of basil paste
Finely grated pecorino (parmesan is fine if you cant get pecorino)
10 thin slices of prosciutto (parma ham)

1kg Cauliflower (cut into florets)


1 cup chicken stock
ground dried sage
balsamic vinegar


Lay one slice of Prosciutto on a clean chopping board, then place a piece of minute steak over the top (you may have to flatten the minute steak if it isn't thin enough to roll).

Squirt a thin line of basil paste length ways along the steak ensuring the paste is in the middle.

Sprinkle a teaspoon of grated pecorino over the basil.

Then roll width ways into a long sausage shape (should be a long sausage shape, not a fat roll-up).

Repeat until all 'snags' are made.

Meanwhile you should boil hot water and use a steamer to cook the cauliflower while you cook the 'snags'.

Place the snags into a hot fry pan and turn as needed (only takes about 10-15 mins to cook)
The prosciutto goes all crispy and yummy if you don't turn them too much.. (place into a warm 120 degree oven while you make the sauce)

Add a healthy splash (to taste) of balsamic vinegar into the frying pan with all the delicious pan juices, then add the stock and a good shake of sage - simmer until the sauce reduces and becomes thicker.

Drain the cauliflower, and then use a stick mixer or blender to joozz it into a paste, add salt and pepper and serve immediately.

Add the 'snags' and to the plate and drizzle the mash and the 'snags' with the sauce!

Depending on the weight of the meat this all comes to grand total of 308 cals (according to My Fitness pal when I added each ingredient)

If you make it please let me know what you think - I LOVE THIS recipe, it's my birthday meal request for this year smile

Also if you have any 'can't live with out them' recipes (breakfast, lunch, or dinner) PLEASE share them as I would LOVE to try them out!!

Entry 42 - Dec 2012

have seen so many people saying I know I didn't train much, and I might not have eaten the right foods... then they are disappointed that they haven't lost weight... We are all going to have times that are tougher than others and if we can get through it with the right attitude AND without a gain - it has to be a win right!?

Watch Me You are a super star! You must have worked out like a woman possessed and been so good with the food! And you are lighter than before you got pregnant!! HOLY SNAPPING TURTLES BATMAN!! You must be over the moon!!

I, myself am heading into another red flag day tomorrow... I have signed up to accompany my youngest son on his school excursion and I am not sure what I am going to make for lunch... or what snacks to take... Plus we are stopping at the beach for ice-creams...

I think I should be able to flex that will power muscle... I seem to work the reverse from everyone else though... when people start saying.. oh it's just one... c'mon... you know you want one... I tend to dig my heels in more - so hopefully I will be able to do that tomorrow!

Next week will be a big test too - But I will fill you in on that next week...

Killed it in Zombie Run today - 606 Cals gone!! That's about 1700 in 2 days no wonder I am hungry and tired! Had to blow off Softball training though - I had a post exercise headache and I just couldn't face it, but I am playing my first game on Saturday (just quietly crapping my dacks) Should be hilarious though - so I will be sure to let you all in on the details, no matter how embarrassing (God, I hope my pants don't fall down!)

I will let you all know how I get on at the excursion...

Oh bought an exercise bike today... Bring on the cricket season!!

Entry 41 - Dec 2012

Weigh-in day........... and I'm back!!!

I lost 1.2kgs last week bring me down to below the 80's (79.4) For the first time in 10 years I weigh less than my 6'4" husband!!! (only by .6kgs, but hey! less is less!)

I am still in the Obese category (by .4) so maybe next week I will be only overweight.... strange how that makes me happy...

According to My Fitness pal if I ate and exercised like I did yesterday in 5 weeks I'd weigh 71kgs!! I don't think I could do that much exercise everyday though - my chest hurts from all the push ups and weights, but my legs are fine... so I have to go run today - no excuses!!

I also have softball tonight so that should be fun... I might try and get a picture of me playing...

Anyway better dash I have zombies waiting to chase me smile

Entry 40 - Dec 2012

***Sometimes life just gets in the way***

You know those days when you have grand plans to get out and do something or got to the movies or something then just as you're getting ready life body slams you to the mat for the three count?? Yeah, yesterday was one of those days for me...

I was going to have a lovely morning shopping and a pedicure, then Mel and I had organised to train in the afternoon. We were going to pick up the kids from school and meet at the park, no problems there... then the body slamming started.

While I was ironing the kids clothes my oldest wondered in and I noticed a big spot on his leg... it was a mozzie bite that he scratched the top off of... then I noticed a cut on his are that was all infected, as to with a pimple under his nose (the chemo gives him pimples too)...

Oh great, I think he has school sores... then he chucked a fit because I told him he couldn't go to school (what 10 year old does that?) So I get my youngest off to school with all plans of Christmas shopping and pedicures thrown out the window...

Lunchtime - Dr's appt - yep it's school sores...ewwwwww

Get home and get a call from a friend who needs to talk as her 17 year old daughter has just left home (after a big fight) and my friend is really upset... 'Of course you can come around.'

2:30pm text message comes in (friend is still at my house) Mel is still stuck in the hospital from a 9am appt as she is being sent off for tests etc with suspected endometriosis - can't come to training this afternoon - hmpfff guess I'm going alone!

2:50pm just about to leave to get the youngest from school and then go straight to training.. My dad calls... 'Feeling nauseous, sweaty and having heart palpitations'. Call an ambulance?? No no I just need to sleep...

3:00pm flying to school on my way to pick up youngest then head off to my Dads...

3:20pm arrive at my Dads, who is feeling fine now... (my Dad suffers from depression so these cries for attention happen a lot, but he also has has several heart attacks, triple bi-pass surgery and I never want him to feel that he can't rely on me...)

4:30pm get home - start dinner - completely emotionally drained... I blow off training... and I feel soooo guilty about it... Grrrr


Today is a new day! That's it! All training from now on happens in the morning - before life has a chance to wake up and start relying on me to take care of things....

Drop youngest off to school - oldest has books and things to do in the car (plus the puppy is joining us today) Off I go to training!!

45min jog and I made it 1 1/4 times around the oval before stopping!! I really want to get a good time next week when we re-do our time trials.... And I find running on the road easier so I hope I will be better... Going to try to get to 1 1/2 before next Wednesday! Hey why not!!

Just finish my run when Mel and the PT turn up. Time for some pain!!

OMG this session hurt... a lot... my core is getting better I held a plank from toes for 30 secs (twice) and I did 50 crunches with NO PAIN! Smashed out 45 slow push ups (from knees) slow ones hurt more! Did about 100 squats... plus a million other painful things and I LOVED IT!

I figured out there are several different types of people who train... you can be more than one but predominately you are in one group...

1. The Screamer - they yell at themselves, grunt and scream 'Come on', 'Arrrrggghhh' ( I fall into this category)

2. The Quiet Achiever - holds in all the yelling and screaming using it to push through (Mel falls into this category)

3. The Over Enthused Cheerleader - 'Yeah, c'mon, this is great! Woo hoo, yeah' (met a few of these while I was going to the gym a while back)

4. The Attention Seeker a.k.a. The Whiner a.k.a. The Questioner - 'Do you think I can?, Am I doing this right?, Can't we do something else?, Oh, can we not do burpees?' (My youngest son is definitely in this category)

I am sure there are a few more sub categories - please feel free to add to this list!

So anyway, I finished my 2nd STS yay me and came home, ate breakfast then sat on the bottom of the shower for a very long time! (photo attached - not of me in the shower - you perves!!)


A few little things I have noticed that I need to update you on...

My tight jeans, and pretty much all my pants, now come off without undoing the buttons or zips... although I still stand a particular way and suck my gut in to do them up (a weird habit I never realised I had)...

My tight t-shirts are now normal t-shirts... (with stretched bits where my boobs used to live)

I honestly don't care what the scales say any more! I know I am losing cms if not weight, and I am convinced I am putting on muscle... so I might not be losing weight but I AM losing fat.

I love all the curry recipes on this site! Not so much the after effects, but that's because I add chickpeas and beans... Plus it's funny (yes, I have the mind of an 8 year old boy)

I am not constipated, I am just eating less, and they say input = output.... (I was worried for a while)

I like running (madness I know)

My Nikes have left Mississippi are currently in Miami, and should be here by the end of the week or early next week! - And I am ordering purple ones next!

Entry 39 - Dec 2012

I am going to rewind to before the SSS I have already told you about...

Saturday 6:15am **alarm sounds*** I roll over to slap Matt (this is how the alarm system works in our house, as he doesn't hear the alarm - and its on his side on the bed)

'Turn it off,' I growl. I had my cranky pants on.

Matt slinks off out of bed I roll over and drift back off to sleep... for about 15 minutes as he clomps out the front door, off the verandah and out for his run...

My cranky pants made it hard for me to fall back to sleep as I muttered obscenities under my breath...

Eventually, the puppy scratching at the door woke me up enough that I decided to get up and start my day... I had a lot to do anyway...

So I got up and showered, got the kids up and breakfasted about an hour later Matt gets back from his 28km run... and blurts out - just over 1000 Cals done!

Ok, so I'm jealous, I know it - you know it, but I can't let him know it... I am the supportive smiling one... But seriously, One and a half hours running, no stopping who does that?, and he burns calories like paper... So I smile and congratulate him (bristling at the unfairness of it all), and while he is in the shower I get ready and head off for my SSS...

I get home, Matt has gone to the shops with the youngest son, so after I shower I remember I need to make 24 cupcakes for Matt's work picnic that is on Sunday... Ahh crap!

Off I go making cupcakes like a woman possessed... Finally finished the cupcakes and cleaning the kitchen when Matt comes home and declares, 'You should relax baby, I'll make dinner...'

Now most women would be over joyed at this prospect, and don't get me wrong Matt is a very good cook... however my darling husband fancies himself as a weekend chef... not a cook, but a chef... and I say chef, because chef's don't need to clean up after themselves...

Matt uses 2 pans where one wold suffice, every ingredient goes into a bowl first (more washing) and then at the end of the meal, he uses the I cooked... you clean rule.... which never works when I cook every other day of the week...

Anyway, now the kitchen is a mess and I still have to make the icing and decorate the cakes... but I am sooo tired that I go to bed at 9:30pm and decided to leave the dishes to the morning... BIG MISTAKE

Sunday, my day off!! (the following content is rated MA, recommended for mature audiences only)

Ahhh leisurely lay in... I get up and have a shower at 7:30am get back into bed for a kidless cuddle and it appears that Matt is feeling a little... frisky...

He sleepily cups my breast in his hand, then takes it away as though he was stung, now fully awake he he looks at me and says, 'Hey, where have my boobs gone!'


Ok, typical man, didn't notice my pants are falling off, or that I look like a homeless person in ill fitting clothes, but he noticed THAT!!... Still I am taking it!! So, it took me losing nearly 11kgs, countless cms and about 10 weeks of diet and exercise but he finally noticed!

After madly decorating the cakes (and leaving yet more mess for later on) we headed off to the Adelaide Botanical Gardens, where we had a ball, we played cricket - I totally wore the wrong bra and kept bouncing out of my bra when I had to run, which was a lot as we were playing hit and run rules, which was hilarious as I wasn't the only under prepared Mum!! Plus I ran without complaint (this was new for me)

I loved participating instead of being the commentator of the umpire... I know some of you know what I mean, easier to do the non active roles when you're bigger... The kids had a great time and Matt and I even went for a walk to the Diggers club shop to buy tomatoes and sprouts!!

Usually I would have been grumpy by the time we got home, but I wasn't. I had participated, and really had a good time, I even met new people, something I used to try to avoid!

I am sooo glad that I started this journey and I can't wait till I reach my goals! (oh and until I can buy some new pants... I wore a belt yesterday to hold up my shorts... first time in 8 years!!)