Sunday 13 January 2013

Entry 48 - Dec 2012

Ok have have HUGE butterflies - I am about 20mins away from heading off for my first softball game... I can't remember the last time I was this nervous... I am hoping writing this blog with keep me a little bit distracted....

I am taking deep, calming breaths and I am fine, while I am doing them, but the minute I stop - BAM! the nerves kick in... I am rationalising with myself, I ask myself, 'What's the worst thing that can happen?' OMG I could fall and snap my ankle, I got told this softball horror story at our training session (that was cancelled but no-one told me, so I turned up to 4 people sitting around drinking beer and smoking...)

OK, OK, Calm yourself, you'll be fine, so what if you strike out, so what if you drop every ball that comes your way... OMG I am making it worse!!!

I am now picturing myself fumbling the ball and as I finally throw from the outfield (I am sure this will be my position) my pants fall down!... Good Grief Charlie Brown!!

My husband and kids are out shopping for my present and are going straight to the ground... it is a ground isn't it... Oh no it's a field... or a pitch... I am sooooo not prepared for this!! I should have watched more YouTube vids...

OK 10mins till I leave... I am back and forward between pacing and the PC... maybe I should cancel... No I can't do that last minute, it's totally uncool, what if I........ NO, JFDI!

I am sucking it up... feel like I need to puke but I am going! Ok peeps please send me calming, positive vibes, and wish me luck - here I go.... ARGHHH!!!!


a few hours later...


I did it, I did it, I did it!!!

OK, so it wasn't a great start to my softball career - I WAS so nervous - but true to form it was rather comedic...

We did a warm up (jog 50mts then stretch - jog 50mts back, throw the ball back and forward and voila, warm!) after the 'warm up,' the manager read out the batting order and field positions...

I was last on the batting line up and relegated to right out field (the ball never goes here) which suited me fine, I have no reservations that I am a skilled player so after I asked where exactly I needed to stand I trotted off merrily to my spot in the field... except we were batting... we won the toss and sent the other team out to field... Ok embarrassing, but I don't think too many people noticed because they were all still getting ready etc...

I did a few stretched and jogged back in pretending I was warming up... Phew close one! We then lined up, high fived the other team and got a talking to from the referee (umpire??? still not sure) did you know you cant wear any jewellery! - I had to take off my HRM, earrings and engagement and wedding rings... (but I stashed my HRM in my bra.) weird right - its not a contact sport so I don't know why earrings are an issue!

Anyway, I really didn't have to wait long to bat (picture attached) and my nerves were going crazy... my stomach felt as though I had swallowed a bucket of sea water!

Ok, I put my helmet on, pick up my bat, and approach the plate...

First pitch comes in....

Swing and a miss... Nerves are going crazy - the 1st base coach is yelling at me about keeping my arms up, follow through, stand closer to the base, not that close, grind out your back foot... Ok, here comes the next one...

Second pitch comes in.... It's really high... but I am so nervous I swing at it anyway and still missed... I completely forgot I could leave them, the umpire asks incredulously 'Did she swing at that?' OH GOD HOW EMBARRASSING!!

The 1st base coach calls Time, the 3rd base and the 1st base coaches come in to talk to me too - oh god this is BAD and totally embarrassing! They are both telling me what I should and shouldn't do...my head is spinning with all this information... I cant help but think that we should have covered this in training...

I think to myself just nod and smile and then maybe they will go away and just let me strike out... eventually they leave me and I face up for the pitch...

WHACK! I felt like I smacked the skin off it... but I didn't it went to ground and I drop the bat and run hard... I knew it was going to be close... the ball was travelling towards the first base player... I had to put on all my speed.... it was going to be super close... OUT! Noooooo!!! Although later I did get told, 'Holy shit girl you can run.' And I silently thanked Zombie training gods.

We got 4 home and my getting out was our 3 outs so we went in to field... Right out fielder how hard can this be... NOT VERY

The ball didn't come to me once and I was back up 1st base (but 1st base rarely needs to leave her spot...) We got hammered - they got 10 home (that's the max then we swap again)

This time I had a plan - I would leave the high and lows and only hit the good ones... the pitcher was very inconsistent and I had worked out that nearly every player walked...

Plus, the only way we could win now was to get our 10 home and surely that wouldn't be my responsibility... Until, of course it it...

So, it's my turn to bat... bases are loaded and it's 2 down.. I HAVE TO SCORE... how did the game come down to me??

I am getting ready to go up to bat and the other team calls time...

They swapped the pitcher!?!?! WHAT?!?!?

My plan is in tatters - I have no idea about this new pitcher, I have only seen her do her 5 practice pitches and 3 were off and 2 were good...

OK, so this time I block out all the yelling and coaching tips, eyes on the ball...

1st pitch... wide (well left me!) (ball 1)
2nd pitch... oh it looks good - I swing - It flies backwards off the bat and smacks the catcher in her face guard... 'OMG are you ok?' I turn to make sure she is OK... People are looking at me like I'm a freak... apparently you are supposed to smile at those ones, like you meant it...so that was a foul ball strike.. (Strike)
3rd pitch... way high (well left gain) (ball 2)
4th pitch... nearly caught me in the ribs... (ball 3)
5th pitch... I decide to leave it, it comes in... and it's good damn it! (strike)
So now I have loaded bases, my count is 2 strikes 3 balls...
6th pitch comes in... It looks wide I leave it... (STRIKE YOUR OUT)

NOOO I feel dreadful, I have lost the game for the team, I shouldn't be playing yet, I haven't trained enough, I suck, I am so sorry, I feel like crying...

Then I get a slap on the back 'Good Job Haze, I would have left that one too', and another of my team mates pipes in - 'there are 3 outs in an innings Haze, yours was only one of them.' (Hers was one of the others)

Ok I feel a bit better and jog off to my spot in the field... at least I cant do any more damage out here! (except I leave my batting gloves on and have to run it to take them off.... And people definitely noticed that... SO EMBARRASSING

Our 2nd base is having a shocker, dropping and fumbling everything, same as our 1st base player...

Coach calls time after the 2nd batter hits and the ball is fumbled again... She starts swapping people around... I know I'm safe in my little right field spot smile... until, of course I'm not...

'Haze, 2nd base.' The baffled look on my face must have made it clear I thought she was making a mistake, so I get a follow up command of 'Yes, you and, yes now...'

I have been paying attention to what the others were doing so I jump into the spot where the 2nd base player (who is now right out field) was standing and pretend I know what I am doing... People are calling out instructions from the side lines, I am getting advice from the 3 different coaches boxes... I just smile and nod... WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING??

2nd base is a lot of running backwards and forwards... which was fine with me... I felt lazy in the outfield anyway...

The ball only came to me twice - 1st time along the ground and I held the runner on 3rd so that was a good thing (so I got told) then the next time I saw the girl on 1st trying to sneak to 2nd base and I yelled 'YES YES,' as loud as I could (as the pitcher had the ball and I didn't know what her name was) she spun and threw it to me and I caught it and tagged the sneaker - woo hoo I got my first out!! YAY ME!

That was their last out and that was game...

So we lost, not sure how much by but I had heaps of fun, even the embarrassing bits and I burnt 872 cals in 1hour 55mins, so my SSS wasn't totally lost!

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